When the night set and the stars took their spots, we gathered on the deck, drank rum, smoked leaves, told rape, prostitution, and buried treasure stories from faraway lands that we had visited. Some of the crew claimed to see a mermaid that was swimming along with the ship. The mermaid had a blue-gray scaled tail, and her breasts were as big as water melons. Her tail gave off a nice smell which made some of the men jump in the water to chase after her and get drowned. Dark blue. It was all we could see on cloudy nights. I had developed insomnia since I got on the ship so I was usually awake chasing the moon behind what looked like a thick layer of net curtain.
The sea revealed no life at all, hopping and dropping us like a mother playing with her child. It scared me to death even to look at it. I couldn’t swim. Well, we were practically dead, so what could the worst case scenario be, anyway? I’ve made a few friends on the deck. I met this alcoholic man who played the saddest tunes on his violin on starry nights. I don’t know if it was his music or the sea that made me sick, I spent my first nights throwing up into the sea. I stood amazed at the grandeur of the sea, trying to spot my vomit in dark water. Everything adapted to its texture and color in seconds. I was almost falling off this one time watching my vomit give in to the water when the man with the violin grabbed me by my collar and pulled back. After a seven months voyage, we reached the city of Delusia. When the land line appeared on the horizon, we yelled to one another the good news. It was just in time. The water and food rations were consumed except for the exotic leaves that we smoked which helped us ignore thirst and hunger for a while. We climbed up the ropes to the land, five hundred feet above the water line. A thick layer of mist surrounded the island. The outsiders were welcomed by the smell of seaweed.
We walked among tall trees reaching for the sky. It was impossible to see their tops. Delusia was a city of extensions.
“Delusia!” a man cried, walking a few steps ahead. “Before we get in, I presume, we need a leader first, in order to start a new life here.” He paused, looking at the sky as if he was the only one who could see the tops of the trees. His erect posture, his sparkly eyes, his hands gathered together on his chest relieved us, so we nodded approvingly. “Follow my lead. Then you shall reach salvation.” Then he looked at me with soft, comforting eyes. We walked to what I assumed was the city square. It was surrounded by three waterfalls with fish jumping from one to another. Inhabitants of Delusia varied in the forms of half fish-half human bodies, the ones who completed their metamorphosis, and the ones recently arrived and were still going through the process. A turtle with a human head, an eel with feet and arms. They looked over their shoulders once and didn’t pay much attention to us. A few men tried to drink from waterfalls and got poisoned. We continued to a bar to have something to drink. We were very thirsty.
“So, this is what heaven looks like, huh?” said a man with red face, his blue eyes swollen. He gulped the wine and gestured at the waitress for another round.
“You are drinking that?”
“No,” I said and watched him down my glass. “We technically don’t know if it’s heaven” I said. The assistant at the waiting room had said we were to take a journey to a place that She (that was another shock, I was told She was a He all my life) created for people with addiction. Smiles followed the surprise on the faces in the waiting room. It’s amazing how we all thought of fucking her, I bet. But, no one dared to confess. I tried to think she was technically very old. This wasn’t the place to get aroused. I objected. There was a misunderstanding. Well, I smoked, but that was some time ago. I quit, I swore that I only smoked on occasion. She smiled gently, I smiled back. I didn’t want to make a scene. It was a slippery condition after all, I had to play by the rules until I made an appointment with the Goddess and explained my case. She was a woman. I had a good way with women.
“Mr. Adam, please take a seat,” she said, pointing at the white tiled walls.

We took seats at the bar. Everybody was trying to stay close to each other. I looked at the rest of the crew. I didn’t know them. Everybody got on the ship in a different harbor. We started chatting, quickly adapting to the new environment. I wondered if the humans were a former version of the fish-human inhabitants of Delusia. I started observing the faces, the movements of the muscles on them. Tightening. Relaxing. Eyes. Brown eyes. Unfamiliar faces. Tongues hitting the teeth, making sounds, sounds turning into words.
Looking at the light and the waterfalls we were served wine. I had never had such delicious wine before. Some started kissing and undressing. I left the table hearing a voice and walked in the direction it came from which led me to a lake. The sight was brilliant. I looked into the water to see if the voice came from it. It didn’t make sense but this wasn’t the place to seek rationality. The water fell, and then rose like a woman who was about to give birth. Then I saw the world, the planet, rising from the water, a woman with long blonde hair, pale skin coming out of it. She ran her hand over my hair, so unexpected. I didn’t even know she was there until that moment. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I felt a divine happiness. Her hands relieved me. I remembered all.
“I was at this park yesterday” I said, “riding a horse.”
Suddenly there were horses running around. Hundreds of them. The air was dark blue. The dust. The speed. There weren’t tables and people anymore. There was only us among wild horses. She smiled. Her face shone.
We woke up on the ship sick with nausea. We were already miles away from the land. Maybe we had never reached it at all.